Not so Taken

Last night I saw Taken with three guy friends. A fourth joined us for dinner, but bailed before the movie started. Something about having to work on President’s Day. Whiner. Anyway, preconception was that it would be a quality action movie. After all, Liam Neeson?

But 30 minutes in, I turned to one friend and said: “Did we accidentally walk into ‘He’s not that into you?’” Because, up to that point, the movie was trying to establish characters and relationships, none of which were deeper than the shallowest made-for-tv emotion-fest. Actually, most of those are probably better. Liam Neeson plays a retired agent (CIA?) who LOVES his daughter. But DOESN’T understand her. His ex-wife left him BECAUSE HE PUT HIS COUNTRY FIRST. And she married a nicer, wealthier man who can give his daughter a horse for her birthday. If these people had ever seen a single “we separated because you did your duty” scene in any other movie, they should have just referenced it. Instead, they sort of walked through the stock quotes and stock feelings, piling cliche’ onto cliche’. And, while action movies are often cliche’-ridden, there were way to many relationship cliche’s and no action cliche’s. We get plenty of those later, of course, but why wait?

If the movie had achieved any kind of depth or quality, then a long build-up wouldn’t bother me. But sitting through tired scenes from old cop movies wasn’t building, it was just delaying.

Liam Neeson can never be entirely bad. But he tried so hard to be the clueless dad that he almost comes across as stupid. Then he goes nuts and destroys Paris, which was okay. But the over-the-top action could have been done just as well in a Vin Diesel movie. When you put better actors in place, you expect things to make more sense. Bullets are supposed to hit things, possibly even go through a couch, or car door, as they would in real life. But no, the action direction here is competent, but from the bullets-hit-everything-but-the-hero school.

Then there’s the utter lack of originality. Hang guy from pipe, guy breaks pipe. Of course pipe is filled with steam. I can’t recall one scene that I haven’t seen somewhere else.  Unlike, say, Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter, in which almost every scene was both stupid and original.  There’s something to be said for that.

This movie is mildly defensible, I suppose.  It goes through the summer fun roller-coaster fairly quickly, after that long first 30 minutes.  But it’s a waste of Liam Neeson.